Monthly Archives: February 2012

The Story Behind Valentine’s Day

“Your Valentine”

Legends have occasionally crept into Christian history. Stories of some of the early martyrs, for example, handed down orally, have sometimes become embellished and romanticized. Such is the story of St. Valentine.

Two Valentines are actually described in the early church, but they likely refer to the same man — a priest in Rome during the reign of Emperor Claudius II. According to tradition, Valentine, having been imprisoned and beaten, was beheaded on February 14, about 270, along the Flaminian Way.

Sound romantic to you? How then did his martyrdom become a day for lovers and flowers, candy and little poems reading Roses are red … ? According to legends handed down, Valentine undercut an edict of Emperor Claudius. Wanting to more easily recruit soldiers for his army, Claudius had tried to weaken family ties by forbidding marriage. Valentine, ignoring the order, secretly married young couples in the underground church. These activities, when uncovered, led to his arrest.

Furthermore, Valentine had a romantic interest of his own. While in prison he became friends with the jailer’s daughter, and being deprived of books he amused himself by cutting shapes in paper and writing notes to her. His last note arrived on the morning of his death and ended with the words “Your Valentine.”

In 496 February 14 was named in his honor. By this time Christianity had long been legalized in the empire, and many pagan celebrations were being “christianized.” One of them, a Roman festival named Lupercalia, was a celebration of love and fertility in which young men put names of girls in a box, drew them out, and celebrated lovemaking. This holiday was replaced by St. Valentine’s Day with its more innocent customs of sending notes and sharing expressions of affection.

Does any real truth lie behind the stories of St. Valentine? Probably. He likely conducted underground weddings and sent notes to the jailer’s daughter. He might have even signed them “Your Valentine.” And he probably died for his faith in Christ.

But he almost certainly never wrote, “Roses are red, violets are blue. … ”

This is Solomon’s most beautiful song. Kiss me tenderly! Your love is better than wine, And you smell so sweet. All the young women adore you; The very mention of your name Is like spreading perfume. Song of Songs 1:1-3

 

Excerpted from On This Day by Robert J. Morgan

Setting the Record Straight: On Marriage

 ”It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show them up.”

 Harry Emerson Fosdick

Officiant: Do you, Ryan, take this woman to be your bride?

 

Me: I will … but not right now.

_____

 

So I want to talk about a subject that seems to be the most talked about thing in the twenty-something culture today: marriage. As a man who is in his mid-twenties, I am living through a time where there is much transition. It seems like society has its social structures put up for every individual: your born, you go to school, you go to college or the military or the workforce, you finish college or whatever else your doing, you go into the workforce (or stay there), you get married, you get your first home, you have kids, you raise a family, then your kids move on, then you die.

 

And it seems like the majority of that has to happen in your twenty-something years or else you are “out of the loop” or “you’re missing out” or “something’s wrong with you.” And that seems really unfair…

 

Because everyone is different and everyone is blessed with the life they are given in different ways and capacities. True, we all have the capacity to make decisions in life and it might seem like things are in our control… but in the end, God is sovereign and he has an ultimate plan set up. And everyone might not be called to live the “stereotypical” life of college, work, marriage, and kids all in their twenties. Better yet, some people might not be called to some of those things at all!

 

WARNING: YOU MIGHT BE OFFENDED BY WHAT YOU READ NEXT!

 

I’m here to set the record straight on my life and how I feel about marriage and how people treat others about this subject. As many of you know that read this, I live in the South. And it seems like the popular thing to do is to get married. Really? Yes!

 

People in the South treat marriage like its going to the movie or to the club… it’s the thing to do. We have popularized marriage because the South is the Bible Belt. For some reason, in Christian culture in the South, marriage is something required. God forbid you choose to stay single past 18! I mean, if you are finished with college and you aren’t married yet… you’re crazy! “What are you waiting for?” most people will ask you!

 

The South needs to find way better things to do than to make going to a wedding the highlight of every weekend. The South needs to get a freaking life!

 

Well let me tell all of you something: I am not crazy, and I’m not wrong for waiting! So to all of you twenty-somethings that are married… stop thinking you are better than all of your friends that are not married… because your not! And I’m sick and tired of your pompous attitudes and how you carry yourselves: “Look at us: we have rings, and a house, we have game nights and a couple of pets, and we have nic-nacs and stuff…” Congratu-freakin-lations!

 

And to all of you twenty-somethings out there who are single… don’t think you are better than dating couples because you have freedom and you can do what you want and you don’t have to regard anyone else’s feelings. Don’t think that you are more spiritual because you are taking the Apostle’s Paul’s charge to be celibate very literally! Paul said it was a good thing, but not the only way to live. Also, I know some of you twenty-somethings that feel alienated because you don’t have someone and you feel lonely and depressed: Hey! Listen! It’s ok, you being single doesn’t make you any less valuable. And anyone that makes you feel less than what you are can frankly go jump off a bridge!

 

Yes, I am angry at those who are married that think they don’t need to associate with dating couples anymore because they “moved on to better things” or single people that think they are “uber-spiritual” because they are taking the celibate route. I do feel alienated by both parties and it hurts. Thank God I have my girlfriend who is encouraging, supportive, loving and cares about me immensely. I also thank God for Himself and his comfort and peace!

 

So, I will leave it with this: If I hear one more person ask me when my girlfriend and I are “tying the knot,” then I will literally jump off a bridge myself. It’s no one’s business when I choose to get married, and you’ll know when I will get married when I put it on Facebook and when you receive that “Save the Date” card that everyone throws away anyway!

 

Fin

A Personal Plea…

“The idea that everything would happen exactly as it does regardless of whether we pray or not is a specter that haunts the minds of many who sincerely profess belief in God. It makes prayer psychologically impossible, replacing it with dead ritual at best.”

David Brainerd

This year has proved to be a challenging, yet somewhat rewarding time for me. This isn’t like my usual writings but this is something straight from my heart: this is a personal plea!

This is me sharing what is going on in my life because I honestly need all my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for me. Asking for prayer is something I am not always keen to do. Yet, it is something I should do.

Just as the quote above, prayer that is seen as useless is psychologically arresting. I don’t want to believe that my prayers go up into nothingness, but that I have a God who hears my prayers and will answer them according to His perfect will. Knowing that all of my prayers get answered is a comfort, knowing that they might not be answered the way I want them to is not.

I feel like as of late that my time with God has become somewhat of a dead ritual. I believe I have allowed Satan to arrest my mind and have me believe that my prayers are useless and that I will not be fulfilled or satisfied in life. I delve into sadness at times thinking that my life will be useless and I will always be stuck in the muck and mire of life.

I want to be free from the muck and mire, I am tired of my life not amounting to anything so I pled with you… if you are reading this just pray for me — that’s it! Just lift up a simple prayer for me, that I will begin to be satisfied again with the Bread of Life and the Living Water. That I will see that God has a plan through all of my suffering and that I can be renewed and have positivity for the future.

So I close with some prayer requests. I plead with you that if you have any prayer requests or needs that you can tell me. I will write them down and pray over them. I don’t want my prayers to be selfish and just focused of self… I want to pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ as you pray for me!

Seeking His face,
Ryan

________________________

Here is what you can pray for me:

1. Interviews

I have already applied and have begun the process this week with interviews. I have several interviews at many different places over the next couple of months for a Chaplain Residency position at several area hospitals. Pray that God will help me in these intense times and that God will lead me to the right place so I can minister to those in need.

2. Provision

I am blessed to have employment but pray for provision in my life. I am in a season of lack and so I pray God will open up more opportunities to work and that God will bless me in a miraculous way.

3. Seminary

I am in my second semester in Seminary and I love it, yet it can be very difficult and draining. Pray that I can be strengthened and endure to the end, and excel, so that I can graduate next year and move on to other things — such as ministry and marriage.

4. Personal Endeavors

Pray for me as I am continuing to write a book and I pray that it can be completed, edited, and published soon. I don’t know how all of this will happen but I serve an amazing God… so pray for continued dedication on my part.

5. Family and Friends

Continue to pray for my brother as God has done amazing things in his life and that He will continue to do so. I have seen a God who is a Great Physician. Pray for some friends of mine who are raising money for mission endeavors to Dominican Republic, India, and Japan. I have seen a God who provides. Pray for many peers and friends of mine who are engaged or newly married, that through these joyous but trying times that they would see grace and share grace to each other. I have seen a God who brings people together as one.

I will post up other prayer requests (and praises) as they come along…